Finding reasons to be angry

It feels to me like he deliberately searches out reasons to get angry when he comes home. Nearly every single day he comes home and complains about something. Anything. It could be as small as a smudge on the TV screen. Yesterday, the same day I wrote my previous entry, my husband came home and went on a tangent about the house cleanliness.

I've always thought of myself as on the verge of OCD with my cleaning, but my husband still calls me filthy and a bad housekeeper.

On the phone he sounded happy and excited to be coming home. He said he missed us (me and baby) and asked for me to start dinner. I thought nothing of it.

As soon as he walked in the house, he started complaining. 

I had spent the previous 4 hours cleaning the entire living room. He throws his dirty work clothes all over the floor and his child's playpen, tosses a pile of papers and workbooks on my clean, newly-polished TV stand, dumps his backpack on his desk, and runs straight into the kitchen, moves the trash bin out of the way and points to a paper on the floor.

"Why is this here? Why can you NEVER hit the trashcan when you throw things? Why do you ALWAYS throw shit on the floor?!".  I was confused and said "it's just a paper (hubby's name), did you even notice that I arranged all your books? They look nice." He yells "UGH! I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT. I'M TIRED OF LIVING IN A FILTHY HOUSE!" then he stomps into the bathroom and slams+locks the door.

I just go to the bedroom and lay down to sleep. I've taken to sleeping through his tantrums since I have nowhere to go outside of the house. If my mom was still alive, you'd better believe I would be there every time he throws a fit. I really miss her so much.

He comes into the bedroom and tries to act nice and say "what's for dinner?" So I roll over and tell him since he tore up my clean living room, he can clean up his mess and i'll cook. If not, I'll continue sleeping.

That was the wrong thing to say I guess! because his face wrinkled up and he started ranting at me how tired he is and how I'm a selfish lazy bitch for not helping him. He quit speaking to me, make himself a cup-o-noodles and has been ignoring me ever since. He's at work now.

Our mop is broken and he refuses to buy me a new one

He demands daily that I mop the floor, but he refuses to buy me a new mop, even though it's only a dollar at the corner store. Literally. one. dollar. 1USD. He keeps insisting that I use this mop that has been broken in half and is only a little over a foot long.

I told him that I absolutely refuse to bend over and scrub the floor and hurt my back by staying in that position to clean the whole house. Each time I refuse, he calls me old, useless, fat, out-of-shape, "bad wife", etc. He tells me his 60 year old mother could mop better than me and wouldn't complain. I asked him if he'd refuse to buy her a new mop for $1 and he ignores me.

At my job, we take bleach wipes and attach them to the broom and mop the floor with that, since the mop is often in use by housekeeping. This works great and so I did this at home. I took a clorox wipe on each foot and cleaned the floor spotless.

Well, he saw me and blew a gasket. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE DON'T WASTE THEM!". I said "cleaning is what they are for. You yell at me every time I use them for something. There is no point in buying them if we aren't going to use them". He said "They are fucking 5 dollars don't use them for that shit, that's not what they are for! Use the goddamn mop you lazy ass". 

I told him they are MY clorox wipes that  bought with MY money, and even if they weren't, it was $5 for a 4-pack bundle, not $5 for a single pack. I said they weren't "expensive" at all, he was just cheap and looking for an excuse to force the broken mop on me again.

Well I guess he hates being called out and he hates that I can see through his intentions, because he started cussing up a storm, called me a bitch and slammed the door in my face again.

He gets so worked up over such benign things. Who gets that angry over two freaking clorox wipes?!

He constantly goes off on me about how "dirty" the house is

There cannot be a single dirty dish in the sink or he gets angry and gives me the silent treatment peppered with insults and curse words. He will purposely dirty a dish and throw it in the sink and tell me I am a bad mother for keeping dirty dishes around "his" son.

He walks around the house like he is purposely looking for anything he can yell at me about, anything that he can make me feel bad about. What person in their right mind does that?

I really don't know how an adult can act so childish and justify that silly behavior in his mind.


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