He came home and started in after talking decently on the phone before that

Hi Journal. We had a normal conversation on WhatsApp this morning. I guess. As soon as he walked through the door, he started complaining. Then the day devolved from there.


The WhatsApp convo annoyed me. He did that stupid flirting/sxting thing he does, which he knows annoys me to no end. I hate any kind of "flirting" over text IYKWIM, I don't know why it infuriates me. But it does and he should respect that. He always used to pressure me into it, but lately I've been telling him that he knows I don't like it and to please stop it. He gets his feelings hurt and pouts and tells me how mean I am. But it really gives me a sick feeling in my stomach, I don't like it.

After that, he called me, sounding all cheerful, telling me he's on his way home and he has to get the oil changed today and I need to wait for the carpet cleaner to come (he never did). I said the house was out of food and we needed more, and Baby needed formula.

But as soon as the door opened, he started in on me. "Why is the house a mess?". It wasn't. There were a few toys on the floor from our son, and of course the pile of papers on his own desk that he won't let me touch. There was a single pan and dish in the sink from my breakfast.

He slams down his belongings from work and goes on a rant about what a horrible wife I am, how the house is always filthy, how he works and it's my job to clean up after him in return, etc. He hurled a bunch of nasty names and curse words at me, along with the "you useless wife" and obligatory misogyny. He told me to stop playing games and clean his house for him like a "wife should do". 1- the house isn't dirty, 2- He knew I was a gamer before he married me.

He seems to hate anything I like to do. Any hobby I have, he tries to convince me to stop doing it because it's a "waste of time". Video games are something I refused to stop doing, and it drives him absolutely insane that I won't obey him on this matter. He has me locked in this house 24 hours a day and he wants me to do nothing but cook and clean. 
It doesn't take 24 hours to clean, I need something to occupy my free time. I joined some free online college courses- and I play video games in my free time. I've played since I was a kid and will continue to do so, as long as my eyesight and dexterity allows it. He says "adults don't play games" and will whine and moan any time he sees me playing a game. So he uses this against me during any fight, it's his go-to insult (aside from "horrible mother").  

I honestly spaced out and quit listening, since I wasn't interested in his drama. I'd been up all night with Little One and I was tired. I guess it just shocked me that this all came out of nowhere. He was happy on the phone, then a few minutes later, in a horrible mood at home. I am really getting tired of this emotional roller coaster.

I'm not listening, so he gets mad and locks himself in the bedroom, which effectively locks me and baby out of the bathroom. There's one door for both. This is bad since my "aunt flo" is visiting and I also need it to wash Little One during a diaper change. I ended up having to change him on the living room floor, and my underwear I wore today got ruined.

He came out about two hours later and stormed out of the house, slamming the door. I guess it was for the oil change. I took this chance to shower with Baby and we both layed down to sleep in the bedroom. I know when he's giving me the silent treatment, he doesn't want to be near me, so he'd stay out of the bedroom.

I woke up around dinner time and he had gone to the store and bought food only for himself. He did not buy anything that he "allows" me to eat. He did not buy any formula for his own child, even though he knew we'd be running out soon.

I told him that I'm alerting his family to his behavior, so he went to bed and slammed the door behind him. He hates it when I tell his family about his abusive behavior. He hates his reputation being tarnished in front of other people. I messaged his sister and told her what he'd done, but I didn't tell her about the bad language he used.

I also didn't tell her how often this happens. He throws a random tantrum like this about once a week, and if I told her every single time, she'd probably get sick of talking to me. Nobody wants that kind of negativity in their life. I certainly don't, even though I have to live it.

I love my husband, but I am tired of being around him. He's like a vampire, sucking up all of my energy. As soon as he comes home, this feeling of illness washes over me and I'm just thinking in my head "Here we go again".

Nobody should have to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in their own home. Nobody should have to worry about having access to food in a developed country. If this isn't illegal, it should be.




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