He's Still Raging, threatening Divorce

I don't even know where to start, journal. He's completely off the deep end this week. This hasn't happened in a couple months. He's been nitpicking and looking for reasons to yell at me all day long. Am I the only one who thinks this is really childish? I told him I think he's acting like a kid, and he just flips me off and slams the door.

This morning, Little One woke up and slapped us both awake. That's how he wakes us up, slapping our faces. It's so cute. Hubby started playing with him and being overly-loud with his affection.
That's what he does when he's angry. I assume he thinks it bothers me that he gives baby attention (It doesn't), because he only does this while he's angry with me. Like he will pick up the baby and talk "into" his face or belly "Oh I love you, not like mommy. Mommy's just a bitch isn't she? Yes bobobo bababa. I feel sorry for you, mommy doesn't love you." But he does it in a really affectionate voice to make baby laugh.

It's so weird. Like super weird. I've never known anyone else who does this. Is this a common thing? Doesn't he care what kind of damage he's going to do to Little One when he starts understanding the things he's saying about his mother?
Anyway, he got up and said "I'm divorcing your ass". He stared at me for a few seconds, but I didn't reply, so he left. I start to get ready to go to the laundromat, because our clothes are piled up over the rim of the laundry basket. He comes in and says "If you have him gone for more than one hour, I'm calling the cops and having you arrested for kidnapping". Wtf? Really? I told him I'm his mother, it's not "kidnapping" no matter how long I take him. So, like the logical and mature person he is, he stands in front of the door and doesn't let me leave. I just end up going back to bed.

Note: I'm used to doing laundry 3 times a week, but hubby put a stop to that. I'm lucky if he will take me once a month. He is so cheap he will pile all the laundry into a single washer and single dryer, then only dry it for 30 minutes. He takes the wet clothes home and hangs them. Needless to say, they all stink now and are soaked with oil from his work, body oil and cooking oil from washing clothes with the dish towels. I hate it. But he controls the money, so I don't have a choice.

Around an hour later, he screamed at me for missing our son's WIC appointment. I said I only missed it because he had a doctor's appointment the same day and that was more important. He said "Get dressed, i'll take you there". He ignored us during the appointment and didn't even come in.

At home, he got very dressed up in a nice suit. I asked him where he was going and he ignored me. I have no clue where he went, but he was gone for 3-4 hours. Not sure how long, since me and baby took a nap. Still don't know where he went. I guess it doesn't matter. But he did come home with groceries.. for himself.

I put baby in the playpen with dad and went back to sleep a little more. I had none last night.

He must have stopped by a store while he was out, because he brought home a bunch of food for himself. Nothing for me or baby. I took $80 from our joint account and I plan to buy us groceries with it. He went mental when he got the notification.

He stormed into the room and yelled "Did you take $80 from MY account?!" I said "No, I took it from OUR account". He said "Don't fucking take my money. Don't take money from my account. Don't you ever touch my fucking money you fat bitch". 

I kept my voice calm because I didn't want to be dragged into an argument. I told him "This is our joint account. I've deposited thousands of dollars into it. It belongs to both of us and I can use it when I want to". His face is turning red and he is saying "It's MY MONEY, not yours. I put it all, you never put anything! You don't work, it's not yours!".

I go to the living room, log into "my" PC, and into our bank accounts. But I smell something rank. It's the baby. He didn't even change his own son. His diaper was dripping with wet poops. I had to bathe him and change his clothes, and wipe down the playpen. It was everywhere. I can't believe he would make his baby suffer just to get back at me. I didn't say anything. He was just looking for a reaction. I just went to log into the bank.

While I was waiting for the website to log in, he is standing next to me calling me awful names. Stupid fat bitch, ugly whore, thief with no morals, etc. I told him to stop insulting me, but I was ignored as usual. I said it's not immoral to take my own money. He continues insulting me. I'm trying to stay calm and not react. It's really hard.

I show him all the deposits I've made. He gets angrier and says "Yeah and you took it all back already! It's all mine in there!" I showed him the withdrawals and I clearly have not withdrawn all of my own deposits. He (literally) stomps his feet hard as he goes back to the bedroom screaming "FUCK YOU! THIEF!"
I keep sitting here reflecting on what just happened. I keep feeling like I've done something wrong, even though I haven't. I feel like I've committed a crime and the police are coming for me.

As soon as I quit working (at his request), all the money in our accounts suddenly became "his". When I was working, all the money I made was immediately taken by him and he said it was "ours". We had all joint accounts because the money we earned is "ours", not mine. But he makes me quit my job and suddenly it's all "his", even what I earned and deposited before. Makes sense, right?

I know this isn't normal. It can't be. I just can't believe that marriage is supposed to be this miserable. I tried to confide in one of my aunts, but she doesn't understand. She just says to wait until he calms down and reason with him. She doesn't understand that he never calms down and cannot ever be reasoned with.

He is always right, and if you disagree, he makes you regret it. It feels like nobody understands.


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